Kragujevac Serbia

(Mom’s birthday, born 105 years ago)

The drive to Kragujevac was uneventful and scenic, except the tire pressure warning light came on again partway through the drive. We could not find a tire place and just hoped we could deal with it once we got to the city. We drove back over small mountains and my refrain was, as usual, ‘wow! It’s so pretty!’ The most noteworthy part of the drive was when we were stuck behind a tractor hidden from our view by the wide and tall stack of hay it was carrying. From behind the hay looked like a mythical creature floating just above the ground. It was a comical sight.

We were looking forward to seeing Ana, one of our previous Serbian language teachers who we stayed with last year in her mom’s village over Easter. But we were a little concerned about the lodging she had offered. Originally when she invited us here she said we could stay in their house outside the city. I had said we like to avoid staying in busy city centers and also needed good parking. The day before we arrived she said we would be staying in her mom’s apartment  in the city center because her mom was at the village. In her mind I am sure she was offering us something better than staying with her family, because we would have the apartment to ourselves. I did not want to be ungracious but I asked about parking. She said not to worry, we could park in a nearby garage. We were not thrilled about this but again did not want to be ungracious so we trusted it would work out. But I asked where we should park when we arrived in order to unload the car. Again she said don’t worry but did not tell us what to do. This is stressful for us knowing how cramped and busy city streets are and how parking can be hard to find.

Traffic coming into town was slow and busy with scooters darting between cars and drivers doing unexpected things, but we found the address, but not the right building. Jim pulled in to an illegal spot and I called Ana who came to meet us. (I was surprised she offered her hand for a handshake, not a hug. She acted more professional than friendly. I think she was just feeling awkward. She warmed up later). She said we could not park there. Luckily a parking attendant walked by and Ana convinced him to let us park in one of the small lots in the courtyard between the tall concrete Yugoslav era buildings. He said he was the only one working and we could leave our car there overnight but would have to move it in the morning. We were grateful but anxious about leaving our car with Croatian plates overnight. It is not uncommon for Serbs to steal Croatian plates and vice versa. We just hoped it would be fine, and it was.

Ana got in the car and guided Jim to the little lot between buildings. Her husband, Gligo, arrived and the four of us lugged our stuff up one flight of stairs to Ana’s mom’s apartment. Sixty years ago the lobby and stairway were probably nice, made with quality materials, but now the tile floors are old and dirty, the thick dark wood stairway handrails worn, and the dimly lit space dingy. I was not optimistic about the apartment. Often people refurbish their apartments so that even buildings that look shabby from the outside can contain quite nice modern apartments. But being a pensioner we did not expect her mom to have had the funds to do so. To her, and to Ana who grew up in this small apartment and lived there with her parents until she was thirty, the apartment is plenty adequate. And it is adequate. But for us it wasn’t the sort of place we would have chosen for ourselves. But we could not turn down a generous offer of free lodging for two nights (we could have stayed for weeks had we wanted to).

Ana poured us cold water and offered us fruit from a big bowl of fresh fruits she had brought for us. We sat down around the table in the small kitchen to discuss our plans. She proposed we meet after dinner, at 8 or 9 to take a walk. Having only slept five hours the night before I wasn’t thrilled about a nighttime walk but we agreed to meet at 8. They left and Jim and I rambled farther out of our way than necessary through the maze of buildings to the restaurant (Vege) they recommended that was actually almost just around the corner. The food was pretty good. We bought some pastries from their bakery for the next morning.

Slava’s apartment has a narrow entry hall with a bench where one sits to put on shoes. There is of course a shoe horn, an item we see in nearly every place we stay, old or new. At the end of the hall is a small kitchen with a table that takes up much of the room. The kitchen has a frig, sink and stove all in a short row with a small amount of workspace. There is a large chest/breakfront for storage, a table and a small couch in that room. Everything worked so we had no cause for complaint. To the right of the hall are two rooms, one furnished like a living room, and one smaller room furnished like a bedroom and study with a permanently unfolded  sofa bed where Slava sleeps.  I didn’t ask but am guessing that was Ana’s room and her parents slept in the living room. I know millions of people do it but I am so glad I don’t have to pull out my bed every night and fold it back up every day.  The bathroom was on the left side of the hallway and was very cramped, but again, everything worked although the shower was designated by a low curb surrounding a drain and a handheld shower attachment on the wall. There was no curtain. As always we tried hard not to get the floor wet. We are getting better at this. The tiles on the walls and floors were cracked and patchily repaired. There was no room for a washer but there were plastic basins for doing laundry and a clothesline outside between her windows. I am so grateful for washing machines. I don’t mind doing small amounts of laundry by hand but when I have sheets, towels and a lot of clothes it is so nice to have a machine.

The building is one of probably 7 or 8 in a cluster built at the same time (60s or early 70s?). The lower reaches are covered with graffiti, mostly soccer related. There is a playground with old equipment next to her building, well used by kids of all ages. And thank goodness there are some trees which make the space less claustrophobic and dreary. There is also a tiny market. The young man who sold us water was very friendly. Lots of people, mostly older, but not only, sat on benches day and night chatting. So even though visually it was not a pleasant space, it did have a pretty good community feel to it. And I enjoyed hearing kids playing and people talking. Oh and the apartment had no WiFi. Slava has a portable device that she took with her to the village. But luckily we could use our phones. 

That first evening I was tired and discouraged and worried about parking and our tires. It’s always more challenging for me to respond well to disruptions when I am tired, but that night I enjoyed our walk around the city and felt a little better about our circumstances even if not ideal.

Ana and Gligo arrived at 8. These days it is dark by 7 here, but that does not deter people from being out and about, including kids who are free to roam on their own without fear of harm. Gligo guided us past buildings and monuments he wanted us to see again in the daylight. He does not speak good English but with Ana’s help was able to tell us about the huge old munitions factory, the first in Serbia, still in use today (providing weapons for Israel, among other countries), although much of the plant has been taken over by Fiat. Their oldest son, just starting university in engineering, is now working at the Fiat factory as part of his work-study  agreement.

He also showed us the ‘old bridge’, various monuments, the first gymnasium (school) in Serbia (still functioning), the old historic theater, also still in use, the stadium, big park, swimming pool, and the park honoring the 1000 students and teachers shot outside the school in WW II.  We were reminded of the Nazi promise- for every one of us you kill we will kill a hundred of you. 

We then walked to the University where Ana works in the cultural center for international students. Currently there are 100 students, mostly from Nigeria, studying to be Doctors. If they graduate they can make 5,000-6,000 Euros a month if they find a job in Germany, or maybe 1,200-1,500 if they stay in Serbia. Hopefully some will return to Nigeria. 

There was a loud band playing in the courtyard outside Ana’s building. She and Gligo were enjoying the music but I was so tired and stressed about the car tire and the battery replacement for the backup system for the phone (which we had just then received a text from our friend saying the new battery he tried to install didn’t fit right, so I was worried about it being a fire hazard). Gligo wanted to stop for drinks on our walk home but I was just too tired. So when we got back to the apartment Gligo said he would come first thing in the morning and go with Jim to the Vulkanizer to check the tires, then show him where to park. Then we would all meet at 5 for early dinner, a visit to their house, and another night time walk.

Back inside we saw a big black bug on the wall. At first we thought it might be a cockroach but thank goodness it was just some sort of beetle. Jim was able to talk with Mark about the battery and we felt a bit better but Mark generously agreed to return in a few days to fix it in a better way, which he did.

We managed to shower without flooding the floor. I only slept 3.5 hours, not because I was uncomfortable, but just due to stressful thoughts.

Next morning Gligo met Jim and directed him to a big Goodyear tire store and shop. The man checked the tires and said they were all fine. He reset the warning device. Hopefully all will be fine the rest of the trip. What a relief to not need a new tire! Back at the apartment Gligo directed Jim to the public parking lot about a block away where he said we could leave the car. The only problem was we would be leaving the next day, Sunday, when parking was free so there would be nobody to pay for Saturday. Gligo promised he would pay the parking tab for us on Monday when there was a human at the booth. Otherwise there would be no recorded of us leaving and we could be stuck with a huge bill.  (He did pay and he sent us a photo of the receipt, so hopefully all is fine).

Jim made us breakfast. We both napped. At noon we set off and visited many of the places Gligo had showed us the previous night. We visited the big (not old) Orthodox Church which was nice. The man in the gift shop was friendly. When we said we were from Seattle he asked, ‘will the Seahawks win again?’ We were surprised because while many people here follow basketball and know the Sonics, few pay any attention to American football. This guy said he was one of the first Serbs to play in the Serbian football league. He was a tall lean man. I asked what position he played and he said, look at me and guess. Jim said, receiver, and was correct. We then walked across town to a big cemetery which was different from any we have seen elsewhere. This one had many little metal ‘houses’ over or around the graves. Some had tables and chairs in the ‘house’ where presumably families gather to eat and remember the dead. We have seen covered graves throughout the country but never so many metal ones. After that we walked partway around a little lake and back to the apartment.

At 5:30  Ana and Gligo arrived. Gligo was wearing a black T-shirt and black pants. I made a playful reference to Johnny Cash (they did not know if him), and Ana explained his dad had died this past year and it is tradition to only wear black for a year. I felt bad about my joke but they did not seem offended. I told them about my great grandma wearing black the rest of her life after her children died.

Gligo drove us to one of their favorite restaurants at the edge of town that serves traditional food. He ordered a huge meat platter that came with fries and diced onions, as well as two salads, bread, delicious soup (made with beef, not chicken like we are usually served), and an awesome dish, maybe my new favorite, of smoked pig thigh cooked in kajmak, called dimljena butkica. We had nice conversation about the town, Serbia and the world. 

Then they drove us to their house on a hill in a small suburb (of sorts). Gligo bought the house in the late 90’s when he came back after the war. His brother and mom live in a house next door.  His house is large by Serbian standard with 4 bedrooms plus a large top floor space that Ana refers to as her kingdom. It has a spacious balcony that looks out over the hilly landscape. She gave us a copy of her book she wrote with someone else on teaching.  Gligo served traditional coffee and treats on their porch. Ana served me some of her favorite juice that is made of ginger, lemon, celery and parsley. It was yummy. Their younger son, Damjan (13) stopped by briefly to say hi. And their 9 year old daughter, Helena, came and sat with us for quite a while. Her English is excellent and she is clearly a smart and thoughtful  kid, who is clearly ‘neurodivergent’, or whatever term is appropriate to use these days. I like talking with her a lot, she is very direct and honest. 

 We enjoyed more good conversation. When I asked if Gligo played sports when he was younger he grimly said war was his sport and kalashnikoff his tool. He clearly was traumatized by the war and didn’t want to say too much, but he did say at one point he and his guys were surrounded for 25 days. Horrible. He just shook his head. Kragujevac was bombed a lot because of the big munitions factory. Ana said she spent much of those years in the shelter in the basement. All she would say is they were hard times. At one point while we talked the plastic chair Gligo was sitting in spontaneously broke and he fell to the floor. He was ok. It seemed like a metaphor for something but I don’t know what.

It was 9:30 when we set off in Gligo’s car again, this time to go to a huge forested  park with a paved walkway as well as many trails through the woods. There are numerous monuments in the park including one for the 1000  kids shot on Oct 21. Many people were out walking at 10 pm. I love that it is safe. I mostly walked with Ana and had a good chat. We compared details of life in Seattle and her life in Kragujevac. When she was younger she thought about leaving the country for a possibly better life in a different country. But now at 50 she has no reason to leave. Her family and friends are here, she has a nice house and gets satisfaction from her work. She feels content and fulfilled. But raising three kids and working two jobs is a challenge. She is always busy. Luckily Gligo is happy to do the cooking and house work and drive the kids here and there. We have never gotten a clear story about why he does not have a job. But it seems it might have to do with war related trauma. We aren’t sure. We also talked about my writing. I said it’s a balancing act for me- wanting to share not only the positive things I see and experience but also the negative, but without sounding judgmental. She agreed that sharing both the good and bad is important. 

The next morning after breakfast we met Gligo and Ana for coffee and had more good conversation. We talked about AI and its dangers. Ana likes it because it saves her time in her teaching. Instead of replaying recordings of her language classes she just asks her AI program to summarize it. But she agrees there can be problems, including those caused by data centers. One is being built next to their town. Gligo agrees with us that it’s not something good for any city due to the demands on the water and electric supply. I talked about our love for Serbian people, culture and nature and got teary as I expressed how touched I’ve been by people’s kindness. Gligo agreed that connecting with our hearts is what we need more of.  He talked about his  family having come from the Kordun region of Croatia (near where my ancestors came from). We enjoyed them both very much. Many times they expressed regret that we had to leave that morning. They had wanted to drive us 90 minutes to an area they thought we would like. But given we had a three hour drive to our next destination we had declined.

We parted with hugs, and they urged us to come see them again next year. We were very glad we stopped to visit with them despite the less than ideal accommodations. 

hay creature (when directly behind it, not seeing the tractor, it was a funny sight. Slava’s apartment is in the building straight ahead, 2nd (1st) floor right side corner. First gimnazija in Serbia (school). There are so many monuments in this city (4th largest in Serbia, and once the capital of the country). City scene with bakery. Ian church (Ana goes there. She is Orthodox, and has a spiritual life, but like so many people does not believe all the dogma nor follow all the fasts). Cemetery. . Another monument to men during WW II who knew they were about to die and wrote notes to their loved ones. The monument has a number of these notes etched into the stone. Yummy dinner. Ana and Gligo with daughter Helena.