Cousin Djordje in Belgrade

We gave our last loving pets to Leo the dog and left BK at around 11. Google estimated our drive to be about 2.5 hours. Most of our route was on narrow roads that meander through vast farmed fields and through small towns and villages. Despite being a narrow secondary road we encountered lots of semi trucks but luckily most were going in the opposite direction. In ‘congested’ areas people dart into the street and animals wander obliviously. Cars tailgate impatiently and pass with no respect to the center line being solid or broken. Once we reached the fast main highway into Belgrade we were reminded of why we don’t like driving in Belgrade. People maneuver around each other at high speed leaving only inches between their car and others. Exit-only lanes are not clearly marked. We missed our turn and had to navigate tiny but busy streets to reach my cousin Djordje’s house which is up the hill about 15 minutes from the center of the city.

My great great grandma was sister to Djordje’s grandpa. Both grew up on the property that is still in the family. Djordje’s older brother and wife live there currently. Jim and I visited and stayed there in 2019. Djordje came from Prague and acted as host and guide. His nephew, Ljubo, who we met in 2015 and speaks decent English came from Belgrade and translated.

We had no idea in advance about what sort of accommodation we would have at Djordje’s. He is a successful business man in Prague (he makes and sells various health related products and has offices in Prague, Belgrade, Zagreb and Banja Luka in Bosnia, so I figured his house would be comfortable). It turns out his ‘house’ is a 4 story row house with an apartment on each floor. We are on the top floor. His is on the 2nd. The units are spacious, tasteful and pleasant and made with quality materials but not fancy. During the 90’s war numerous relatives lived here after fleeing their homeland in a Serb area of Croatia.

When Djordje’s ‘friend’ Mirjana (a radiologist who I met in 2019 when he traveled with her to Pittsburgh to visit his cousins’ graves) showed us our 2 bedroom apartment she opened the frig which they had fully stocked with eggs, cheeses, hams, juices, milk and other treats. In addition she brought up food she had put out for us downstairs- assorted cookies, savory rolls, plums, watermelon, grapes and traditional donuts. Our apartment also has a big dish of spicy nuts and malted milk balls as well as a tray of fruity candy and chocolate. There is enough food for many days even though we expect to stay only two nights. Djordje has said we can stay as long as we want but we really don’t like staying in big cities for long. The only reasons we came here are to see Djordje, and Lud’s niece, Nikolina, and to finally see the now completed St Sava’s cathedral. 

But back to our arrival. After hugs and welcome wishes we sat around chatting in basic Serbian and a wee bit of English (Mirjana understands a little but speaks minimally) while Jim and I drank water. Then we walked together on their little  (but surprisingly busy) street to a small restaurant that serves only fish. Neither Jim nor I are huge fans of fish but we ordered a stuffed fillet of some kind and Djordje ordered us salads and bread. He kept asking if we wanted wine. We didn’t really want any at 3 in the afternoon, especially because Djordje didn’t want any, but finally we  gave in to make him happy. Conversation was limited by using Google translate although Jim and I were able to say some simple things in Serbian. If we understand correctly from what Marijana said, Djordje’s memory has been declining somewhat which explains why he is erratic regarding communication.  If he doesn’t answer a text or email immediately after receiving it he forgets to answer. This happened last month after Djordje invited Cedar to stay at his place but then Cedar never heard from him again.

In our case, last May I wrote to say we had bought plane tickets and I asked if he might be in Belgrade while we are (he lives and works in Prague). He wrote immediately to say he did not know but either way we must stay at his house. I wrote back asking if our estimated dates were ok. I received no response. I wrote again mid summer and again got no reply. I wrote again right before we left on our trip and got nothing. Last week I wrote saying, I hope I haven’t offended you, and again received nothing. Finally, Monday night I gave up and booked a room in Belgrade. Literally 15 minutes later I got a message from Djordje asking what time we would be arriving! He had been expecting us all along but forgot to write us! Luckily I was able to cancel the room for free. 

After lunch we walked a short distance further up the road to see his other property, a generously sized grassy lot planted with a number of fruit trees. The mini orchard looks out of place in the residential neighborhood but is a welcome sight set between houses in various stages of repair.

When we arrived back at the house a young man, Boje (a good family friend), greeted us and told us Djordje had asked him to come over to act as translator. His English is exceptionally good and he is a friendly, smart, young man who has traveled a lot throughout the world. He is a biologist but recently finished his training to be a nurse. He is thinking of moving to the Middle East to work for a year and see how he likes it there.

Djordje likes to pontificate about history, politics and culture in ways that make using Google Translate insufficient, so having Boje there was a great gift. His views are very different from Djordje’s conservative views and they enjoy arguing (good naturedly) with each other. Djordje likes Serbia’s current President Vućić and believes he has brought many jobs to the country, increased highways, and has been good for the country. He likes that Vucic is a friend of the US. Djordje is a big fan of America and sees it as a land of opportunity. Boje, on the other hand, like many young people, thinks Vućić is a corrupt immoral crook who primarily benefits the rich while destroying the environment and exploiting the common people. That said, Djordje does believe it likely that some sort of ‘deep state’ runs everything in the world, so he and Boje agree on that point. Boje feels it matters little who is in power because politicians from all sides are corrupt and self-serving.

Djordje has an active entrepreneurial mind and spent some time describing his vision for introducing some of his health care products in the US in exchange for promoting American products in Serbia and Europe. He asked, as he has asked when we have met before, if I would research and contact companies on his behalf, and assured me this could provide a good secondary income for me. I am not a business person, nor do I have any interest in becoming one, but I listened politely. He assured me he was not pressuring me to agree to this. But he can be a bit pushy and he turned off a couple other American relatives when he persisted in asking for their help even after that said no.

He also said he bought a large amount of office space in the center of Belgrade in a newly developed area and wants to open a health clinic there. He would like to find rich American doctors (or doctors from other places) to open a practice there or to help fund and create a health clinic there. He wants the clinic to be named after himself as a sort of legacy. 

I gave Djordje a copy of the issue of Serb World USA that contains my writing and photos from our 2019 visit to our shared ancestors’ family farm where Djordje grew up. He was appreciative that I cared enough to write about our time together and share it with others.

After a few hours of sitting around the fruit, pastry and cookie laden table I thanked Djordje again for his kindness and generosity. He told me I ‘earned it’ because in 2019 I flew from Seattle to Pittsburgh to act as a guide while he was there. He ‘fell in love’ with me during that first visit. He said he deeply appreciates my efforts to meet him there and it made his trip much richer than if he had been there without a family member to host him. He said because I flew from Seattle to Pittsburgh he wanted to fly from Prague to Belgrade to meet us here. 

Marijana and Boje explained how to but tram tickets so we could go into Belgrade the next day (Djordje’s place is too far to walk, even for us). Boje said he would put 500 dinars (about $5) on my phone card, and all I would need to do is text a code to a certain number and the ticket receipt would show up in my phone. He said rarely does anyone check for tickets but this way we would have tickets just in case.

Boje also said he would send links to various hikes in eastern Serbia, where we are heading next. He is an avid hiker and was happy to share his knowledge with us.

At about 6:30 we said goodbye and headed to our apartment 2 flights up the stairs. My understanding was we would meet again Friday morning before we left but be on our own Thursday. We told them we would go to St Sava’s then meet with Nikolina for dinner. But when we got home after 8 Thursday evening I got a message saying they were worried and had been expecting us. Marijana had cooked a traditional bean dish for us.I felt bad but I don’t know how I could have communicated more clearly. They were understanding and invited us to come down Friday for breakfast before we left.

(I will write separately about our time at St Sava’s cathedral and dinner with Nikolina).

When we entered their apartment today at 11 the table was spread with eggs, ćevapi, thinly sliced cured ham, Serbian cheese, mini corn muffins, apple strudel, fresh tomatoes and cucumber, cheese stuffed pastries, and a pot of chamomile tea. Marijana likes to cook and was especially proud of her strudel which was excellent- flavorful and not too sweet. We used our phones to translate and were able to communicate quite well, or well enough. In addition to wanting me to contact health product companies Djordje wants me to contact small banks and convince them to partner with Djordje to open a small American bank in Serbia. I told him I am NOT the person for that task but he insisted our family are all smart and have good minds for economics. That is definitely not my interest nor forte.

I learned Marijana has a 21 year old son, Luka, who is studying medicine but also lives spending time working on her family’s farm near Čačak. I also learned as a radiologist she specializes in women’s health and mammograms. When I told her I’d never had one she said they are mandatory in Serbia at age 50. That led to them telling us about how there has been a large increase in cancers among children (and adults) around Belgrade as a result of the NATO bombing. There continues to be depleted uranium in the soil and there is no way of cleaning it up. They also mentioned that tensions in Kosovo are flaring again and they fear another war is possible.

When it was time for us to go we took more photos and Marijana gave us a bag of candies, her baked goods and a couple trinkets to remind us of our time together. I continue to be touched, humbled and grateful for people’s willingness to treat us generously and like family even when are blood connections are several generations apart.

photos: Djordje, Mirjana and us, Boje with D and M, D’Souza apartment, D’s extra lot, our apartment and views, frig with food, breakfast spread, Marijana and Djordje