coffee and stories with Ljiljana

Liljana was busy adding details to an oversized clay perch (fish) on her little table outside her shop and studio when we stopped to see her after dinner. She gestured for us to sit at a table ten feet away at the restaurant by her shop. We had Turkish coffee and talked for about 90 minutes. She snatched the bill before I had time to reach for it. Luckily it was small as coffee in this region is very cheap.

She wanted to know all about us, to get to know us better, but before we said much about ourselves I asked her some questions, and, since she likes to talk, answering my questions also led to her telling us stories. She is a great storyteller and reminds me of a character in a movie, like an old woman who lives in a small village who  everyone goes to for both news and wise advice. 

A little about her- She is 59. Her husband died of cancer 4 years ago. She has 2 daughters. One lives nearby and is single. The other lives a half hour away in Podgorica, has 2 young daughters and is pregnant with a son. She hopes he will be named Vuk (meaning, wolf) because it’s a strong name and it feels ‘right’ for this child.  Her dad worked at a train repair garage in Bar but died a couple years ago. She owns the building in the center of the square where her studio and shop are on the ground floor and an apartment (that sits empty) upstairs. She has never been motivated to fix it up and rent it out. She lives upstairs in a different building across the square. She also has a large property with house and land in the Serbian town of Priepolj, where her mother is from. Her mom died young, suddenly, from a heart attack, in her early 50s.

She traveled and worked in Europe in her 20s but decided she wanted to stay here in her home village. She did unfulfilling office work for some years, then decided to make souvenirs out of clay. She was sitting outside with her dad one day, working on sculpting a clay rose (or lily?). At that point working with clay was just a hobby. She had no training. A tourist strolled by and said he wanted to buy it.  It wasn’t done, neither fired nor glazed. But she said ok when he persisted. She thought, ‘I could make a living doing this.’ Soon after she quit her job (12 years ago) and works year around creating and selling her tourist souvenirs for the same price as when she started. She makes these little magnets, ornaments and small sculptures because she enjoys it, and the lifestyle, not to earn as much money as possible. She is the only person selling handmade items in town. The pedestrian road in front of her shop has a half dozen booths offering rakija, sunglasses, and kitschy (and more expensive) toys and junk from China. Some people are satisfied with that. 

Liljan loves her life. She has an apartment, a studio and shop, land in Prijepolj, 2 daughters and grandkids and decent health (now that she has had both hips replaced). She looks forward to selling her property some day and giving money to her daughters. Her eldest daughter might carry on the business. Already she has started selling handmade jewelry in the shop. 

Each day she wakes up, enjoys the ritual of making coffee, then spends a half hour or hour drinking coffee while listening to the birds. She plans her day. Her happiness does not depend on how much money she makes. She doesn’t need much and is happy here. She knows all the locals and likes most of them.The ones she doesn’t like she greets politely but that’s it. She does not want to spend her precious time dealing with negative people.

She told us about one of the restaurants in town she dislikes. They are dishonest and cheat customers. Marko has said the same thing about them. She never tells people to eat there. One example of their dishonesty is they charge people who stay overnight in their rooms a parking fee even though the parking lot is free for everybody. She said the rest of the restaurants are all pretty similar in terms of quality and price. We said we were surprised there had never been a bakery in town in the years we had been coming because it seems every town, even the smallest, has at least one. She said there was a bakery a long time ago. She speculated that the restaurants in town didn’t like the competition. When there is a bakery people don’t need to eat out for breakfast.

Liljana likes stories, especially legends based on real characters and events. She told us several.

One was about her cousin from many generations back when honesty was important. If accused of lying you needed to fight the accuser to restore your reputation. If you win, the slate is clean. Someone accused her cousin of lying. This cousin was a very big man, 2 meters tall, and impeccably honest. He disputed the charge and when they went to fight the cousin put his revolver down and insisted they fight hand to hand  instead of shooting. The villagers gathered around to witness the fight, and the cousin won. But then the other guy accused him of something even worse than lying- being a coward. This disturbed the cousin. When WWI started the cousin, because he was so strong and large, was given an early style very heavy machine gun. In this particular battle the Austrians and Montenegrins were face to face across from each other on a field. The cousin, wanting to prove his courage, marched alone across the field and killed 14 Austrians before being shot down and killed himself.

Another story, which she told after I told her about my dad’s grandpa killing an Austrian officer and needing to flee the country (with help from the gypsies), was about her husband’s ancestor. In the time of Turkish rule if a couple got married the man had to give the village head his new wife to sleep with first. This cousin went to his brother, who knew the head guy, and complained about this. The brother said, don’t worry. On the wedding night the brother told the head guy to come over and wait for the bride. He made a big feast, gave him lots of food and drink and built a hot fire. The head guy was getting impatient. The brother said don’t worry, they will be here soon. When the head guy was drowsy from food and drink the brother drew his sword and chopped off the guy’s head. The brothers and the wife ran off to Prijepolj in Serbia to hide from officials. 

Liljan talked about a neighbor in the village who is jealous of Liljan’s life and success. This woman is a gossip and is always complaining about things. She complains that Liljan sits in front of her shop from 9 in the morning till 11 at night (which is often true). She wanted to know how much money Liljan makes. Liljan likes to joke with some people who deserve it. She said, ‘oh, I’m too tired when I get home after working from 9-11. I just shove my money under the mattress. I do this every night all summer long. I work so hard I’m too tired to count all my money. Maybe sometime in winter I finally take out my stack of money and count it. The neighbor  didn’t know if Lilian was telling the truth or kidding. (Some of Liljan’s stories reminded me of Native American storytelling, when outsiders don’t know for sure if the stories are true or if the storyteller is pulling your leg).

Liljan talked about all the friendly tourists. She has learned passable amounts of many languages from her interactions with visitors from around the world (her English is good). Russians especially buy a lot of her items. There is a particular Russian guy that comes every year and buys a lot. Every year she has to make something new because he already has everything she has made. He actually has a whole wall in his house in St Petersburg covered with her clay figures. He even has a sign calling the room the Liljan museum. 

While we were talking a young woman came and was looking at her display. Liljan said, ‘she is Israeli, she won’t buy anything.’ She said that for every hundred people who come from all the other countries, 60-70% buy something. She said when the Israeli’s come they are friendly and ask a lot of questions but never buy anything. She went over and talked with the young woman, and when she came back was shocked that she actually bought something. However, she only bought something after first trying to get Ljiljana to sell her 2 items (7euros each) for 4 euros total. We were curious about her attitude toward the Israelis, wondering if there was more to it than just her experience with the tourists. She never implied anything broader or deeper, but they were the only nationality she spoke critically about. 

In our travels, especially in places that draw tourists, it seems that the locals who serve the tourists always have negative opinions about one nationality or another- in some places they say the British are bad guests, in other places they don’t like the Russians. But most people acknowledge that good and bad people live in every country, and that most are good. Most people in Serbia and Montenegro seem to like Americans a lot, saying we are warm and friendly. I don’t think they say that just because we are Americans.

When we finally parted Ljiljana asked for my contact info so we can stay in touch via WhatsApp. She said she looks forward to meeting again.